xeno

A dog can be a lonely young boy’s best friend.

“You gotta put it in me,” Stiles keened loudly, hips squirming where he was trying to push back against the soft friction against his pert baby ass. “If we wanna make puppies, he needs to put his penis in me. That’s what I read in the book from the library.” DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT

Venom gives Eddie a hand (and some other body parts).

The Hale pack only had three Alphas in total, the one in charge and the two eldest offspring. Considering that Mrs. Hale and Laura were both females and, therefore, neither could be the owner of the pink dick Stiles could see just poked out of its protective sheath, Stiles was going to go with this being Derek here in front of him. Derek, who was coming closer, big paws crunching over grass, rocks and fallen leaves. Coming ever closer—and, no, no that wasn’t Derek just coming closer. That was Derek stalking towards Stiles.

The morning Eddie wakes up with his first hard-on in his post-Venom life, he finds himself at a bit of a loss. -- Learning to get sexy with your symbiote.

Finding out that Beacon Hills was the home of the ONLY Werewolf Microbrewery changed Stiles and Scott's lives. Gone where the days that Scott had to be Stiles' DD, because finally he could drink. The icing on the cake was the fact that the owner of said bar just so happened to be none other than Derek Hale. Stiles wanted nothing more than to push Derek against a mattress, or a table, or maybe a wall. Stiles wasn't picky. He just knows that he wants him.

After crash-landing his ship, a space traveler learns why you're not supposed to visit certain planets.

A young woman makes the mistake of running into the wilderness on her own. She finds out that there are worse things on the prowl than only animals.

The love of Astarion's life has disappeared to go live in the daylight with the druids, and Astarion is stuck in the darkness once more, yearning for sunlight with every fibre of his being, while bitterly reflecting on all the things that were denied to him in the end - love, sunlight, the option to kill thousands of people and become a near-god... Raphael knows Astarion's desperate, and comes to him with not one, but two horrid contract offers that Astarion loathes and dreads in equal measure - but the prize at the end of both are too good to turn down, and he's become too cynical to care about how much of a good idea it is to give his body to a devil for a month or two, because really, comparatively, how bad could it be?

Stiles gets eaten by a mind-controlling lake, Derek is fluffier than usual, and everything turns out pornier than expected.

Venom notices it on probably week three. And he doesn’t say anything then because, frankly, he assumes it’s cancer. Or Eddie and Venom make a series of huge mistakes.

Eryx, a deep-space adventurer, crash lands on an unfamiliar planet. He really should have read that xenobotany briefing.

Fighting fire with fire is okay in theory but Detective-Summoner Dave L. Strider figures trying to summon corporeal demons to the mortal plane to fight other demons is likely to backfire spectacularly. Sadly for him his inner Knight gets the vapors at the thought of letting anyone else play guinea pig. Yup, he is totally hogging the demon. What could go wrong? (Oh no, Dave, why did you have to think that.)

There are small things to be noticed, if you know to look, that make Vash just a little less human. (Or, Wolfwood warms up to the parts of Vash that aren’t quite human.)

You pause for a moment, considering insanity at the prospect of battling a giant robot with two kitchen knives while static-peppered Michael Jackson blares in the background. “Nah," you think, "Better roll with the punches.”

“Your flyboy has a point -” you say, snarling loud enough to hide the shaking in your voice “ I got a B- in chemistry. You want someone with a Ph.D. Why don’t you do us both a favor and finish killing me? Why don’t you go get the right human?!” “Because, fleshling, if this is how you react with your options whittled down to the nub-” the moonlight glints wickedly off his fangs as his grin twists into a full blown Cheshire cat smile “-then I believe we have found the right human.”

John is one of eight mech pilots heroically protecting Earth from an alien invasion. Pretty easy on the moral choices. See evil monster from space, kill evil monster from space. Only then he actually meets one of them face to face.

Eugea's latest stepdad is hot, huge, canine, and more interested in her than her mother. That works out perfect, because there's nothing on the little girl's mind besides big, fat, dog eggplant. Plus, she'll get to prove once and for all that the old should pass on the torch to the young.

the fact that jeremy's grades are shit are the least of his worries when his human stepfather walks in on him fucking himself with a cucumber.

Derek convinces himself that he keeps going to further the cause. Never mind that he doesn’t know what the fuck the cause even is, but that’s the phrase all the pamphlets and late night commercials use to get them all in here in the first place, so he figures it’s a decent enough excuse. Does it really matter why they need werewolf semen and what for? No, no it doesn’t. He’s just helping people. That’s what all of this is.

Kissing Vash always feels like he’s kneeling and worshipping, praying into his mouth, accepting every little noise he makes, every part of him that he places into Wolfwood’s hands. He selfishly wants every piece he can take, wants to cradle his entirety in his rough palms, wants to pretend like he’s even worthy of holding this wondrous creature so close. (Or, Plants go through heat. Wolfwood helps.)