awkward/ painful first time

“If the knights are your brothers, does that make me your sister?” He looked at her for a moment. His eyes were hard like he was upset and his jaw was tight, like he was grinding his teeth. “No,” he said, eventually. “Then what am I - to you?”---Rey didn't want to leave Jakku - not without her parents, anyway. But when Kylo Ren found her there, watching him from the shadows of Niima Outpost, she didn't have much of a choice.