britpicked

Hermione convinces Draco to spy for the Order and she becomes his handler. But what are his true motivations? Hard to say when he's still figuring that out himself. WINNER: 2022 Top Dramione Fics on Reddit4th Place Wartime2nd Place BAMF!Hermione .............................................................. Draco cut her off. “You may have my wand, but you're not in control of the flow of information here. It’s not your life on the line.” Granger bristled at his assertion. “My life is on the line every day.” “So. Is. Mine.” He growled back. “Give me my fucking wand and don’t be so bloody obvious when you contact me.” She narrowed her eyes. “I already told you I'd be more careful next time.” She better be. “One more thing.” “What, Malfoy?” she snapped, still angry she hadn’t gotten the information she wanted. He pointed his finger at her so she would understand how important this was. “You need to learn Occlumency. If you’re captured, I’m dead.” She stared back in defiance. “We both are.” He couldn’t argue with that. She tossed his wand to the floor and Disapparated with a crack.

That one-night stand with Draco Malfoy was a mistake. Hermione doesn't make mistakes, or at least she isn't supposed to. She's working hard at her Ministry career, however frustrating and pointless her job may be, and she's also got to live up to everyone's expectations as Hogwarts's most famous Muggle-born and a top-tier War Hero. So, why is she still sleeping with Draco Malfoy, ex-Death Eater and infamous pureblood? And why isn't she certain that she wants to stop?

Draco's stuck working as a sex-advice columnist after the Ministry impounded both his family's money and Malfoy Manor. He traded on his sex god reputation at Hogwarts in order to get the job, but there are a few small problems: he's a virgin, and he also has no idea what he's talking about. When Hermione Granger arrives at his office, irate at the poor quality of his advice, Draco finds himself blackmailed into letting her instruct him on the proper way to give sex advice. She apparently gets up to some pretty creative sexual practices in her spare time, but she's also an irritating, intrusive know-it-all. Draco should be chomping at the bit to get rid of her, so why is he fantasizing about her all the time?

Spying for the Order is taking its toll on Draco. To cheer him up, Hermione brings him to a midnight showing of the Rocky Horror Picture Show to participate in the virgin induction ceremony. Draco is not amused. ~ “Party bags.” His lips twitched. “Aren’t we a bit old for that? The last time I got party favors was Greg’s eighth birthday.” “No, nothing like that.” Her grin returned. “The party bags have toilet paper, rice, toast, squirt guns, a deck of cards...” She tried to remember what else was included. “It’s been a while. I’ve probably forgotten some of the items.” “And what do we do with all that?” She laughed nervously before answering. “Throw them at the screen.” “We throw toast at the screen?” he repeated in disbelief. She nodded. “And shout at the film too, while it’s happening.” Malfoy furrowed his brow. “Muggles do this for fun?” “Some Muggles.” “Ah.” His eyes brightened in understanding and he tapped the side of his nose. “The weird ones.” Her voice rose defensively. “It’s a cult classic!” “So you’re part of a cult.” He chuckled at her scowl. “Are you one of the weird Muggles, Granger?”