discard-icon
vip-icon
Disaster Averted
C
CarolineLehmann

Disaster Averted

words:6079 Chapter:1
everyone weddings humour
Stiles wasn't entirely sure why fucking Greenberg was calling him, how he even got his number was a mystery but not really because Jackson was a dick and wrote it in a bathroom stall saying that he gave good head which he got him back for the Herpes Incident of July 2013, though that was a story for another time, the point was he was on the phone with a kid he didn't even know getting shit about not having a date to his dad's wedding. How in the hell was this is life? So he formed a plan. Stiles' fake boyfriend check-list: Choose a name that’s believable and easy to remember. Check Make sure you have shared interests like classic movies and mythology .Check. Make sure that he lives in a town far away. Check. Create a fake email account and send romantic emails to self. Check. Get the fake-a-text app on i-Phone and have a conversation with fake boyfriend to show family as proof of relationship. Check.
2024/12/11 21:07 Update
8.0K
0
44
Stiles wasn't entirely sure why fucking Greenberg was calling him, how he even got his number was a mystery but not really because Jackson was a dick and wrote it in a bathroom stall saying that he gave good head which he got him back for the Herpes Incident of July 2013, though that was a story for
0 comment
No one has written anything yet. Leave a comment now.

Explore Related

The Assignment
The Assignment
When Harry agrees to help the Ministry acquire a potion only Draco Malfoy reportedly knows how to brew, his assignment results in not one but two difficult confrontations, and a few added surprises besides.
15.6K words
7.9K
Fancy
Fancy
When Clint and Tony go on their first date Clint is far out of his dept. He doesn't know how to be fancy or high class just awkward. Luckily Tony notices but can there date be salvaged?
4.3K words
3.9K
Size Does Matter
Size Does Matter
Remus goes through a few changes in his third year. Luckily for him, his friends know what to do.
2.5K words
11.5K
The Love That Remains
The Love That Remains
Sherlock Holmes realises his new flatmate cares about him. It's information he doesn't know how to handle. Basically, the story of how Sherlock discovers love, and of how this changes him completely. Predominantly Johnlock, but other characters appear too, because love comes in different forms. Mostly canon compliant.
49.3K words
7.4K
Homemade Wolfsbane
Homemade Wolfsbane
Granger took a deep breath as if steeling herself to deliver unpleasant news. “Have you heard of SAP? The Sanctuary and Assistance Program?” she asked. He had heard of it, terrible acronym and all. When Severus had read in the Prophet that wizarding families were opening their own homes to other witches and wizards that had been displaced during the war, he had wondered what fool would be willing to have their living space invaded. It seemed he was about to become one of those fools. *Severus Snape is coerced into providing housing for Remus Lupin and his new baby.
58.1K words
12.0K
Good Enough
Good Enough
For a prompt on the kink meme: Enjolras won't let Grantaire come until he admits he's good enough. Grantaire has to safeword.
1.5K words
9.1K
You've Got the Right Stuff, Baby
You've Got the Right Stuff, Baby
Ron thinks Rose's birthday present would look great on Hermione.
4.4K words
13.8K
Trip to the Grocery Store
Trip to the Grocery Store
Jim, Spock, and their son are shopping at the grocery store. Heavily pregnant with their second child, Jim runs into an old flame. Cue Kirk trying to act like he is still the same guy he was when he dated her. Too bad, it is about to blow up in Jim's face. Humor! No angst!
1.8K words
14.2K
Hello mom, hello dad
Hello mom, hello dad
Newt and Hermann visit the Gottlieb family after the Breach is closed. Some are happier to see them than others.
2.3K words
4.0K
Protected
Protected
Captain Kirk will protect each and every person under his command in any way he can. When the Enterprise gets boarded, everyone gets to witness just how far he is willing to go.
2.1K words
5.8K
The Sun and the Sea God
The Sun and the Sea God
Set during the Beacon Dance, Weiss figures out that not being able to dance wasn't the only reason Neptune rejected her. Of course, being the excellent friend she is, Weiss decides to help, and somehow the rest of team RWBY gets in on the plan. However, after someone infiltrates the CCT, things suddenly get a lot more complicated...
43.1K words
5.3K
Sunday Morning
Sunday Morning
On the Oregon coast, near the end. “You do know every problem you run away from is going to come back to bite you in the ass.”
4.6K words
3.8K
Beast
Beast
AU. One shot. Established relationship. When Takao's eye gets infected, Midorima tries to convince him to use eye drops, but the smaller man hates putting something in his eye. What starts off as a concern for his health turns into an animalistic workout session.
4.4K words
5.3K
[Podfic] What A Lovely Way of Saying How Much You Love Me
[Podfic] What A Lovely Way of Saying How Much You Love Me
It starts with a sandwich (ham and cheese, to be exact) and ends with a confession in bed. Steve's not sure what's going on here, but he thinks "instincts made him do it" is probably not a valid excuse.
15 words
65.3K
Now I Just Shuffle My Feet
Now I Just Shuffle My Feet
And at seventeen, the rosary around his neck had been dumped unceremoniously into his bedside drawer, gathering dust amongst the old sticky notes, gel pens, and unused condoms. He had surrendered himself to his heart, and his heart to Jaebum.
7.1K words
3.8K
Saving the World Tonight
Saving the World Tonight
Life in the backwater known as Puente Antiguo can get pretty dull. When the boredom gets to Darcy Lewis, she promises to jump on the next exciting thing that comes along and not let go.Then she hitches an intergalactic ride to Asgard with the God of Mischief, and boredom is the least of her worries... Post-Avengers. Mature for later chapters.
166.8K words
69.5K
Scorched, or The Effects of Acid Rain
Scorched, or The Effects of Acid Rain
Even after all these years, he can't get that damned fire-juggler to leave him alone – and it's getting harder to order him away each time.
13.5K words
4.3K
Exchange Rate
Exchange Rate
When Daryl finds an old flyer from a male escort agency, he's shocked to find someone he knows pictured on it. Who'd have thought Glenn had such a big secret to hide? As it happens, Daryl is in the market and if Glenn's selling, he's buying. In which Daryl is an idiot and jumps to conclusions, Glenn is oblivious and thinks they're in love, and no one knows what's really going on until it's too late.
6.3K words
6.6K
Her Roar To Your Howl
Her Roar To Your Howl
You’re a wolf. Your thick fur is a complex mix of sombre and milky brown, a bolt of white lightening your chest. Your dark paws, like ink stained, are large, the claws sharp and deadly. Your strong jaws broke bones like twigs and your pristine fangs tore through your preys’ and enemies’ flesh with ease. Your muscular body is massive but agile, a machine built to kill. Your gaze, striking, is made of silver and gold and for centuries they frightened and seduced, your own kind and others’. You were born to win, to lead, to rule to dominate, a demi god to which all form of life owe respect. And you walk by her side.
7.2K words
18.1K
It was just a joke
It was just a joke
Castiel is a nerd and Dean a jock, despite this they are best friends. When Cas is at a party with some of Dean's friends, they try to convince him something awful happened. Basically Dean's friends are dicks, but Dean is a sweetheart and I worship high school Destiel.
2.3K words
6.7K
To love alone
To love alone
Harry and Draco are married, under no circumstances of their own. Draco does not see it as a real marriage so he continues his playboy ways and poor Harry keeps falling deeper and deeper in love with him. Mpreg warning!
17.6K words
7.2K
Five Times Peter and Neal Took Care of Each Other
Five Times Peter and Neal Took Care of Each Other
Exactly what it says on the tin. So sweet it'll make your teeth ache.
2.4K words
7.7K
Handcuffed
Handcuffed
What happens when Harry and Draco are handcuffed together and unable to remove them?
149.2K words
7.9K
I Could Feel You Floating In Me
I Could Feel You Floating In Me
Poppers (n.): a slang term for a group of chemicals (especially amyl nitrite) used recreationally by queer men since the 1970s for their relaxation effect on involuntary smooth muscles, such as those in the throat and anus, as well as the warmth and head rush they provide to users. "What do you want?" Gerard asks, like he does everytime Frank asks him for this. “Open-handed impact play. Poppers. Fuck me. Plug me. Fist me. Come all over me.”
5.3K words
7.8K