internalized homophobia

internalized homophobia

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All the Young Dudes - Sirius's Perspective
All the Young Dudes - Sirius's Perspective
this is an ATYD fanfic first!!! and a harry potter fanfic only by necessity. this is literally just me rewriting each chapter of atyd but from Sirius's perspective bc i love this story so much and can't get enough of it. all credit for the original work goes to MsKingBean89 and if for some reason you've stumbled upon this without reading the original ATYD first, please go do that!! Read the original here 8/24/23PLEASE DON'T POST MY FICS ON GOODREADS/STORYGRAPHS/ETC. PLEASE DON'T REPOST MY WORKS ON ANY OTHER SITES. PLEASE DON'T PRINT OR BIND MY WORKS USING THIRD PARTY SITES THAT MAKE A PROFIT - DO IT BY HAND OR NOT AT ALL. DO NOT SELL BOUND COPIES OF MY FICS.
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No Paths Are Bound
No Paths Are Bound
Heaven Official's Blessing - Mo Xiang Tong Xiu | tiān guān cì fú - mòxiāng tóngxiù Hua Cheng (Heaven Official's Blessing) Xie Lian (Heaven Official's Blessing) Windborne (Heaven Official's Blessing) mu qing (tian guan ci fu) bai wuxiang Xie Lian's parents wu ming Jun Wu (Heaven Official's Blessing) Qi Rong (Heaven Official's Blessing) láng yíng (tiān guān cì fú) original characters Mei Nianqing Heaven Official's Blessing (TGCF) Heaven Official's Blessing (literally: Heaven Official's Blessing) I don't know. shi qingxuan Heaven Official's Blessing Wei Ying | Wei Wuxian language ubiquitous quan yizhen Yin Yu (Heaven Official's Blessing) Half a month (Heaven Official's Blessing) Lan An (The Untamed) lan an's cultivation partner (modao zushi) Jiang Cheng (Mo Dao Zu Shi) Favor (Heaven Official's Blessing) Shen Yuan | Shen Qingqiu yushi huang heaven's eye (tian guan ci fu) Hua Cheng/Xie Lian (Heaven Official's Blessing) Feng Xin/Mu Qing (Heaven Official's Blessing) name/poisonous weapon He Xuan/Shi Qingxuan Ling Wen/Yushi Huang basically a retelling of the novels hurt/comfort horror elements internalized homophobia hong-er plays a much bigger role earlier on major novel spoilers mentions of sex work very minor fenglian graphic violence torture suicide attempt implied/referenced suicide fan art included in chapters when i say slow burn i mean 65k words in u get (1) smooch implied sexism and abuse of power mdzs references all over the place basically everyone falls in love with xie lian at one point or another yin yu needs to unionize against hua cheng’s capitalist oppression implied sexual content gender fluid characters cunnilingus (beefleaf) vaginal sex (beefleaf) sexual assault (not of a main character) domestic violence demisexuality edgeplay (accidental) references to svsss implied childhood sexual abuse (not of a main character) hand jobs anal sex Oral sex pregnancy (not of main characters)
Xie Lian found something in himself that he thought was gone—worn away with every mistake he had made. Faith. His arms opened, and the child was hesitant—but eventually, he fell into them, his body trembling with silent sobs. "I remember you," he whispered again, voice breaking as Hong-er clung to him. I remember you. I remember you. I will always, for as long as I live, remember you. (A re-telling of TGCF where Xie Lian has his cursed shackle placed in his eyes, blinding him. And yet, through all of his struggles; there is always someone watching over him.) (MULTIPLE TRANSLATIONS AVAILABLE)
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Everything or Nothing
Everything or Nothing
Literary Strray Dogs | bungou stray dogs dazai osamu (bungou stray dogs) nakahara chuuya (bungou stray dogs) shirase (bungou stray dogs) yuan (bungou stray dogs) arthur rimbaud (bungou stray dogs) oda sakunosuke (bungou stray dogs) sasaki nobuko (bungou stray dogs) sakaguchi ango (bungou stray dogs) Kunikida Doppo (Bungo Stray Dogs) nikolai gogol (bungou stray dogs) fyodor dostoyevsky (bungou stray dogs) nakajima atsushi (bungou stray dogs) mori ougai (bungou stray dogs) tachihara michizou (bungou stray dogs) ozaki kouyou (bungou stray dogs) yosano akiko (bungou stray dogs) francis scott key fitzgerald (bungou stray dogs) Akutagawa Ryunosuke Edogawa Ranpo (Bungou Stray Dogs) edgar allan poe (bungou stray dogs) dazai osamu/nakahara chuuya (bungou stray dogs) alternate universe - college/university alternate universe - no powers oh my god they were roommates slow burn dazai osamu being an asshole (bungou stray dogs) dazai is a fuckboy enemies to friends to lovers jealousy internalized homophobia closeted character they're both petty and stupid as hell chronic illness minor character death mental health issues implied/referenced self-harm idiots in love love songs kissing in the rain screaming confessions Kunikida Doppo is so done (Bungou Stray Dogs) kunikida is their ra chuuya is a huge mess there's an illegal panini ring biphobia anal fingering blow jobs praise kink masturbation meta references to the manga friends with benefits rimming anal sex denial of feelings mutual pining lack of communication coming out scene minor character with terminal illness dysfunctional family background kouyou/yosano dirty talk past child abuse past sexual abuse medical trauma light bondage breathplay blindfolds suicidal thoughts post-traumatic stress disorder - ptsd panic attacks existential angst medically inadvisable sex discussions of toxic masculinity
College AU where Chuuya finds out that the boy he drunkenly made out with the night of orientation is his new roommate. His arrogant, smug, very straight roommate. And the boys are each convinced the other is trying to ruin their life by making them go absolutely insane. Turkish Translation Here Vietnamese Translation Here
264.9K words
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Wrapped Up In You
Wrapped Up In You
The whole group was miserable. Absolutely miserable. And it made Jisung sick. Things had finally begun to look up again before Felix’s heat… so why did it have to all come crashing down on them once more? Hadn’t they endured enough already? *** In which Stray Kids struggle to find their footing as a group amidst the chaos that comes with bringing together flawed and hurt people who are all just trying to do their best as they navigate self-hatred, sexuality crises, falling in love, heartbreak, ruts, heats and presentations, their dynamics as a group and what being a pack truly means...
128.8K words
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Reasonable Adjustments
Reasonable Adjustments
When Eddie gets a phone call from his son's science teacher about reasonable accommodations it sets off a series of events that turn his life completely upside down. "I should probably get going," Buck says. "It's a school night after all." Eddie appreciates this devotion to duty, but at the same time he's a little disappointed. He's repaid Buck's favor so now there's no need for them to see each other except on parent teacher night. But he doesn't want that. It's been a handful of hours and the thought of Buck never coming by again already seems impossible. "Look," he says, letting the words come out of his mouth before he can overthink them back in again. "I don't know about you, but making friends when you're a single dad with an insane job is hard. I have your number. Is it okay if I use it for non-school purposes?" Buck's insta-smile is so bright it's practically blinding. "I would love that."
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icarrion, carry on
icarrion, carry on
Harry Potter is forced to leave Percy Jackson in the hands of the Dark Lord and his followers. When Harry finds him again, his friend is almost unrecognizable. - “You don't have to come back.” Harry’s going off-script, he knows he is, but he can’t help it. He needs to offer his friend a way out. “I’d understand. I— I could help you run off. Find you someplace where no wixen will ever see you again.” But Harry’s offer doesn’t even seem to tempt him. “Nah.” Percy smiles, but its easiness doesn’t come as naturally as it did before. “‘Course I’m coming to help. Couldn’t leave you to fight this on your own. Not even if I wanted to.” There’s a pause and then Harry hears him whisper something under his breath. “Just because I don’t like being a weapon doesn’t mean I won’t do it.” Harry hates himself for feeling relieved.
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The Quintessence of Dust
The Quintessence of Dust
For a second, Lucifer didn’t see the bloodthirsty Angel that had come down from heaven to exterminate them. For a second, he saw the man Adam had been in the garden, and he half expected him to tilt his head in confusion, like he had done so often, when he had still tried to understand the workings of the universe. An "Adam falls and maybe earns redemption in the process" fic that nobody asked for
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The City on the Edge of Forever
The City on the Edge of Forever
“We need to talk,” Eddie said quietly, while they waited for the elevator in the hotel lobby. Buck huffed next to him. “No shit, Eddie.”“Not, uh, not just about that,” he said, and then Buck was looking at him curiously and Eddie almost got cold feet. If he didn't tell him, they weren't married, right?He pulled out his wallet, carefully turned it over, and let the rings drop into his hand. “About this.”Buck, to give him credit, took it better than Eddie had. “No..” he whispered, looking horrified. “Noo! We didn't..” Or: Buck and Eddie wake up with a bad hangover, a marriage certificate and more questions than answers. Eddie realizes he has to reevaluate some things, but life gets in the way.
29.4K words
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Wind Up, Cool Down
Wind Up, Cool Down
"How about this then, Getou." Suguru's intuition tells him to run while he can. His butt stays planted. "You can come to my practices to give me some friendly advice about my routine, and in exchange, I'll forget about pressing charges for your assault." He beams. "Good deal, right?" Suguru wants to slap him across the face. "What? You're the one who put your lips on my neck." "After you punched my arm like a truck. Come on, dude. Do you really want to ruin your hockey career right now? I don't think the sports teams in jail are very good." "You're a piece of shit," Suguru seethes. Crystal blue eyes crinkle. "And you've got seven different sticks up your ass, but who's counting?" Suguru is just a guy trying to recover from unhealed wounds of his past. Satoru is the star of their university figure skating team, embodying everything Suguru wishes he had. So when an unexpected injury brings the hockey team's captain to this supernova of a man, everything he thought he knew about his principles goes ass up. Alternatively, bratty figure skater Gojo fucks around and finds out ft. college angst and sex in places that aren’t very sanitary.
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Secrets and Changes
Secrets and Changes
A butterfly flaps its wings and the universe is changed forever. What would change about the story of Harry Potter if Harry was trans? This is my attempt at a rewrite of CoS where Harry is a trans girl, more changes to canon will follow but I wouldn't want to spoil those. The plot will follow canon for the most part but the details is where canon divergence comes into it. Fair warning: I tagged this as a pre-relationship for a reason. They're endgame, but not while they're 12. The relationship will be a slow burn, just in case that's not your cup of tea. Also, some content will be triggering, this will be included in the tags for the fic when they pop up and will be mentioned in the authors notes of the chapters the appear in
86.1K words
17.9K
I Know What You Are
I Know What You Are
Sanji was panicking. He was stuck on an island he didn't know, surrounded by people he didn't understand, forced to wear something he didn't enjoy... ...and apparently realising he didn't know as much about himself as he assumed. Only problem was the fact that of all people who could have lead him to that discovery, it somehow ended up being an ex-warlord, Sir Crocodile. -------An alternative version of how things could have gone at Kamabakka, with Sanji struggling with internalized transphobia and Crocodile wondering why he had even let himself get involved in this mess.
60.7K words
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Impulse
Impulse
Without bothering to grab his shirt, he dashed out of the room, only to remember he was in the crappy hotel of Lucifer's fucking brat. If he were to walk out further into the hall, anyone could see the messy state he was in, not to mention the plethora of hickeys that probably littered his neck. Lucifer had sharp fucking teeth. He shuddered, recalling how it felt to have Lucifer's teeth graze his neck, easily finding his weak spot and latching onto it, sucking a mark into it before biting down‐ fuck, he was not about to get a boner in the middle of the hall. He had to get out of here. -OR, Adam wakes up after a hook-up with Lucifer and attempts to deny the inner gay allegations, only to go back and do it again
7.5K words
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the beauty i see
the beauty i see
Riki and Sunghoon have always felt this underlying tension between them, one that they’ve never given much though to. A night preparing for their comeback in the practice room leads to something far more which somehow creates more problems than it solves. Can they figure things out? Or are they going to be pulled apart?
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